Post-Easter Greetings, and Style of the Week, #9

W.C. LOVES when people go out of their way to be festive. This Style of the Week (and a big shout-out to my dawg MiMo for emailing) is dedicated to a lady who really put a lot into her Easter hairdo: Are you puzzled, reader? Are you thinking "well, that lady's hair sure looks purty, and the style contains hints of a lovely pastel spring theme, but WHERE do you get EASTER out of this hairdo, W.C.?"

Well, let W.C. continue:

BOO-YA! EASTER BASKET WOVEN ONTO HEAD. But wait, there's MORE:

EGGS! Grass! Basket Handle!

The Easter Bunny would be proud... not that W.C. cares what the Easter Bunny thinks, because he didn't bring so much as ONE PEEP nor CADBURY EGG for W.C. this year. Good thing they are 1/2 off at Walgreens now! The only happier day in all the year is February 15th. WC's gotta go get her sugar-buzz on... C-ya!

BiBi with a "Real" Grill

These people done did what 5 Dolla was tryin' to do! 5 Dolla, you just got SERVED! Lookie here:

Ta da!

W.C. LUVS THE INTERNETS!

BiBi Spears is still a mess...

W.C. found this pic of BiBi and just had to say something, and thankfully somebody had already blacked out BiBi's bibi, which you can see because she done forgot her underwearz again!
Dear BiBi,

Nice wig, nice purse. The jury is out on those velvet bike shorts, but at least you ain't gonna flash your hootchie-cootchie. As for your STAINED-ASS SHIRT:

QUESTION: Why the HELL do you think White Chocolate wears BLACK to every par-tay?

ANSWER: W.C. wears black because nobody can see the food and drank that you spill all over yourself when your ass gets drunk and hongry. As long as you don't have dandruff (those lights in the club WILL show dandruff and other skurry types of stains), then wearing black is ALWAYS the way to go. Especially for hongry and thirsty girls like you and me.

At LEAST you weren't drinking red wine. Also, when you know the cameras are following you, why not just stay in your seat at the restaurant until that stain dries?!

Unless that's grease. DOH.

W.C.'s Style O' The Week #8, and BiBi Back in the News

W.C. done fell, and and squashed her purtiest party-glasses and broke 'em. Potential replacements:

Ain't these nice? They match W.C.'s new pimp goblet. Do you have any other suggestions? W.C. CANNOT go out partying again until the glasses are replaced. This is a rule. It helps protect W.C. from the paparazzi (or the Pavarotti, as BiBi's former man K-Fed creatively calls them).

OOH, and speaking of BiBi and Stank-Fed, maybe that boy is smarter than W.C. gives him credit for, because he is allegedly getting ALL KINDS of BiBi's money, plus those babies four days a week!

That's probably a good thing, because it means BiBi only has to concentrate for 3 days a week on not dropping them, or leaving them wandering on Rodeo Drive, or flashing her hootchi-cootchie around them, or trading them for magic beans.

Silly BiBi---REAL magic beans cost WAY more than a couplea babies!

Orlando has Mickey Mouse, M-I-A just gots RATS.

OH LAWD! M-I-A gots RATS! Many, many rats. Like a million. More than W.C. can count up to, fo sho. That is seriously STANK!
The 305 don't sound so fancy when the big international airport is all CHOCK FULL OF RATS, now does it?

M-I-A could hire this guy, or they could just turn the situation into a tourist attraction. Re-name the airport Miami's Famous Rat Jungle and International Airport, with a cute plush Mickey Mouse style mascot, El Raton Rigoberto! Pretend like you planned it that way, M-I-A! Spin that news!

First Promotion: Free cookie to the first 1,000,000 kids to catch one of Rigoberto's cousins! Woo hoo!

No News is Good News? And Style O' the Week, # 7

Sorry folks. W.C. got into a box of wine, and therefore has been asleep at the posting wheel. Therefore, if any of ya'll repeat offenders (you know who you are) been checking back to see if W.C. got anything to say 'bout anything, W.C. is sorry.

However, W.C.'s friend "D.W.C." pointed a brand new hur-style called the Pony-Hawk, a/k/a Faux-Hawk, which W.C. will claim for use as her Style of the Week:

LAWD! W.C. gotta veto this one and call it the STANK Style O' The Week, but tell me what ya'll think. Maybe W.C. is just jealous cause her purty hair won't do that style!

D.W.C. also blogs the Britney-Gun-In-Church incident:

Oh my goodness. That is cuh-ray-zay. That BiBi is a traveling circus. Careful of what you read on D.W.C.'s site though because some of it is weird and perverted and involves fruit roll-ups, and if you are under 18 it ain't suitable for you, and you should go surf Nickelodeon instead.

O.K. So W.C. will try to stay out of the wine, and keep up with giving you the important style news you crave.

JT: Don't hate the playa

Don't be hating on Justin Timberlake:

...Just because W.C.'s boy JT is all hugged up with two major, A-List hootchies at the same time. He can't help his li'l self.

BiBi got her nails did...

W.C.'s girl 5 Dolla has been a busy little internet worker bee, and has turned up this article about BiBi, along with this photograph: As the article notes, check out BiBi's hot-pink french tips.

Well, W.C. doesn't at disapprove of BiBi taking care of herself and getting her NAILS DID and stuff, even if this current UNBEWEAVEABLE, hair-full image flies in the face of the new hard-rocking image that BiBi was cultivating...

Still, BiBi----> If you are trying to turn back the clock and go back to olden times, just paint the whole nail pink, ok Girl? Or get a straight up french manicure.

Get yourself a stylist! W.C. will even act as your style-consultant for free! BiBi, it's a fine line you are walking ...you know where to reach me, Girl.

Oh Snap! Big Moe Denied Entrance to Shaq's B-Day

The news for the day is that Shaq had a b-day party at the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino, and SOMEHOW Star Jones made it past the velvet rope:

...but poor Big Moe (Anna Nicole's former bodyguard) got denied at the door. Big Moe doesn't even have a JOBBITY JOB anymore, and Shaq's door-dudes are hating on the man?

WC SHOULD have busted up in there. With WC on his arm, Big Moe would have gotten in.

Also, he apparently doesn't know the rule that if at first you don't succeed, there's always sneaking in through the kitchen! HA HA HA, you laugh, but there is a whole troupe of crusty old party crashers W.C. done met in N-Why-C who think they are super fancy, but yet they will sneak under a fence in a second if there are some jumbo cocktail scrimps on the other side!

But WC digresses....

Chin up, Big Moe! Shaq just wanted to ensure he'd be the tallest dude at the party on his big day!

BiBi getz a Grill?

According to semi-reliable news sources, BiBi has made a quick post-rehab dash to the dentist. According to TOTALLY UNRELIABLE news sources, i.e. speculation, conjecture, and photoshopping by my girl "5 Dolla"... the reason for the stop at the dentist was to get fitted for a NEW GRILL:

OH LAWD, 5 Dolla need a new photo-editing program. BiBi looks good with a grill, but Professor W.C. thinks BiBi actually went in for "Molar Pain" as reported, in order to get a pain-meds scrip!

Once a bare-footed crackhead, always a bare-footed crackhead! But W.C. loves you, BiBi!

WC's Style O' the Week, #6

LAWD, these are purty and sparkley:

Rhinestone encrusted glue-on nails!!! And not only are these good-lookin', they are also practical: Durable, re-usable, interchangeable. You can wear these on your hands or your TOES, or both!

No Nekkids Allowed

W.C. went walking on Lincoln Rd., Miami Beach last night. You wouldn't have recognized me, because I didn't have my hair fixed.

On the door of one store, called "Design Within Reach" there was this sign:

No Nekkids Allowed!

Now W.C. agrees that going any public place all barefooted sounds pretty NASTY (BiBi Spears, are you listening?). So that part of the sign is fine.

But as to the rest of the sign: If W.C. weren't afraid of getting on the bad side of the Miami Beach P.D. and weren't so much of a PROPER LADY, Rollerblade-Streaking on Lincoln Road sounds right fun!

If anybody does this, you best be sure to send the pics to W.C. as soon as you get out of County!

J.D. = crazier than W.C.!

When W.C. goes out on the town, some folks say: "Hey W.C.... You CRAY-ZEE!"

And yes, W.C. can get into a groove, and get downright FUNKY. But W.C. always says "there are PLENTY of people crazier than W.C." in the partying department.

Case in point:
LAWD, Janice Dickenson! W.C. can see your drawers!

J.D. is fabulous, though. She's gonna be 75 one day, and will still find a way to Botox her way to looking exactly like she does in this picture.

Q: In hand-to-hand combat between Tyra Banks and J.D., who would win?

WC Sez: Boycott Tennessee?

The word on the street is that Justin Timberlake's home-state of Tennessee thinks he is too sexy to be associated with the state! Just like Elvis! Apparently, "State Sen. Ophelia Ford had introduced the resolution to honor Timberlake, a Tennessee native, 'for his highly successful music career and for his meritorious service to the State of Tennessee.' But Sen. Raymond Finney, R-Maryville, removed it from a list of resolutions that is expected to get unanimous support in the Senate."

Now, WC don't know anything about politics, but WC is PRO-J.T., cause that boy can DANCE!

BiBi gets hugged up with a dude!

Good news! BiBi Spears MUST finally be listening to WC's advice. According to information from my girl 5 Dolla, BiBi done got all hugged up with a dude named Jason Filyaw who has a band called Riva. Here he go:

BiBi, this boy ain't half-bad-looking, both of ya'll got shaved heads, both of ya'll sing, and both of ya'll got that hard-living-rehab credibility going for you.

(Of course, we must take breaking news reported by 5 Dolla with LESS credibility than other, reliable sources of news like The National Enquirer. After all, 5 Dolla IS the one who gave me a container of partially used deodorant for Santy Claus Day. I been using that deoderant too, after I wiped off her stank from the top layer with a tissue.)

But W.C. digresses. BiBi, I am glad to see you are back in the game, and listening to Auntie W.C.'s advice. Get out there and get your nails did for your new man! And GURL, write to W.C. sometime and give me a personal update, so's I don't hafta rely on third-hand info from stank deodorant re-gifters!

W.C.'s Style of the Week, # 5

If any of ya'll got some money burning a hole in your pocket, buy these for W.C., a'ight?

Size: REEEALLY BIG.
Color: Any color ya'll decide is fine.
Use: W.C. is gonna par-tay in these puppies, ya'll!

No JT for BiBi...

Well, BiBi is busting out of rehab--legitimately this time. And along with that news, everybody is reporting that JT don't want nothing to do with her crusty, barefooted self (which is what he means when he says "we just friends").

Well, BiBi... maybe it's for the best. JT is a little too pretty and polished for your new career track that W.C. has designed for you. You need to partner up with someone who is more on your new head-shaved, rock-out level.

Maybe this dude:

His name is Pete Doherty (no relation to Shannon that W.C. knows of) and like you, he also enjoys partying, going in and out of rehab, rocking out, and long walks on the beach.

Anyone else have some suggestions of suitable suitors for post-rehab BiBi???

WC's Style O' the Week, #4

THIS IS THE BESTEST EVER STYLE O' THE WEEK. EVER.

Of course, there are only 4 total styles o' the week so far. But W.C. can safely say that it will be tough to come close to matching this. Aren't these toes the FANCIEST toes you've seen:

Fancy and purty though these may be, none-the-less W.C. sees a few problems with toes like these.

1) shoe choice limitation.

2) dancing-moves limitation.

OH LAWD, you KNOW some big-footed SASQUATCH gonna step on one of these purty toes up in the club, and either scuff them, or knock one of them clear off.

Good luck, girl!

W.C.'s Style O' The Week: #3

Since W.C. has been shacking up in Miami, W.C. is a fan of the Miami Dolphins football team, and so is this lady:
The small-print writing on the side of this picture tells us that these nails got did by Princess, and also "Fierce Nails Online".... But W.C. googled that, and found nothing.

If W.C. could find Princess, W.C. might would get these did... except for you see how the dolphin comes out from the nail??? That would SHORELY get snagged up in my hair, and how embarrassing if I pulled my OWN hair off my head with my purty nails. Besides that little issue, W.C. gives this style two Press-On-Nailed-Thumbs Up, for TEAM SPIRIT and originality.

Breaking News! STANK Report!

From Orlando---D.W.C. reports that the tourists and Universal Studios employees are gossiping about the scrumptious MATTHEW MCCONAUGHEY. Apparently, M&M is super-duper STANK. Once he gets out in the sun without his DEO, it's all about the B.O! Lawd, but his stank self is still good looking. He can bring his STANK over to W.C. any time!

Thanks to D.W.C. for the coverage.