Tuesday, January 09, 2007

Happy New Years!

OOOH, Santy Clauz was niiiice to W.C. this year. Among other things, I gots a FANCY, giant "pimp goblet" from D.D., some purty wall hangins from Shaniqua and D., and a box o' stuff from 5 Dolla. But the funny s*** is that everything from 5 Dolla was USED. There was partially used deodorant, used socks, used foot lotion, and a pre-burnt candle set. Damn, 5 Dolla! Girl, you coulda just got me a card. Now you gonna go around being all stank because you gave up your deodorant! HA! I'm still gonna use that s*** though.

Here go the pimp goblet:
So, then after Santy Clauz Day came New Years Eve, the most magical day of the year. I wish I could remember more of it, but somebody spiked my pimp goblet with a magical brew that tasted like scrawberry kool-aid, but apparently had a bit more potency. Doh! I wore my fancy goat-hair collar, and I got new slippers with hearts on them at the Dollar Store at the West Oaks Mall (you know, that one by JC Penney), but they fell apart after one night of dancing with D.D., Ben Ben, 5 Dolla, and the rest of them crazy kids!

"Air it out, air it out!"

I shouldn't tell ya'll this, but Ben Ben's momma made that kimono out of the living room curtains:
Ain't that amazing??? Ben Ben is Asian Scarlett O'Hara, ya'll!!! Anyway, we all got our dance on, and ran wild through the fields of Apopka for one grand evening at Ground Zero, toasting at midnight with only the very finest, Martini & Rossi Asti Spumanti. Yee ha!


Ramon said...

Why Chocolat my belobed african mamacita. Ramon meess chu so mush is not fony. Ramon go back hone for Navidad tu Acapulco. I was wee my cousin Yenifer dancin quebraditas all nye, it was a lot o fun to dance wee her. I chused to lobe my cousin when i was lie 15 cheers ol. We call her "la negra" becaus che is bery dark. I thin I got into chocolat becaus of her chu no. I drank mucho tequila baby, I woke up on a palapa on a beech lye reely far away wee some vato called "el toro". don no wha reely hapened after nyen at night. I jus no i meess chu Why chocolat, al de tine I was dancin with la negra i was tinkin of chu. dancin with chu in de disco. I si chu got plenti of good tings. If chu don wan de desodorante my mom can habe eet. che lyes tings that smell preety. We habe to go dancin baby. i no i weel roch chu lye dat yustin timberlay. Mi mamcita africana.

roberto said...

hola mamacita. I habe jus bin tol dat chu are not an africanita. wassa de mader with dat huh? chu tin ees fony to treek nice lookin latinos lye me??? i reely though chu were an africana, i didnt no. But wha i in lobe wid ees chur soul babi, shur i lye de way chu look but chur soul mamacita ees wha i lobe. eef maybee we chould mit we weel clear dis misonderstandin once an fur all. When i work as a pool boy in a whorehouse in acapulco i meet dis girl, Yasmin, che wass butiful, an i lye her from de beginin an wanted to habe sexy dreems with her, but den my cousin Ramiro who work de keechen an roonserbis, hee tol me dat Yasmin was makin pipi standin op, i don belibe Ramiro. but i talk to her an i tell Yasmin to shou me what ees down der and chee shou me down der an Ramon wake up een de libin roon an de oder hookers were aplin son salts to wake me op becos i faint. but chu see my belobed mamacita what de moral of dis story is? chu need to talk to peepl to see who dey ees. i don care chu ees why, i am no racist. lye dat ees how chu find out wha ees goin on, chu understan no? but i don talk to Yasmin aneemor, her reel name ees Francisco. i threw a rock to hees car wen i leebe acapulco to miami. chees a bastar