Girl! I was checking out one of the gossip blogs I read, and I saw something that like to have made me slack-jawed in disbelief. GIRL. Well yes, I know you done showed your hootchie cootchie a coupla times. But THAT is NOT what I am talking about. Rather, the thing that bothers W.C. is THIS:
GIRL, it looks to me like you done left that TAG IN YOUR DRESS. Oh. My. Goodness.
PLEASE don't tell me you gonna return it later, except I already know that is the ONLY reason somebody gonna leave a tag in a dress. I KNOW it ain't comfortable having that stiff tag rubbing against you, and I KNOW you can FEEL it, girl. Well, W.C. can sure SEE it. And if W.C. can see it, JUSTIN CAN SEE IT. AND IF JUSTIN CAN SEE IT, HOPE MAY BE LOST.
Sure, W.C. has maybe left a tag in a purty blouse or something, once or twice, and then took it back to the West Oaks Mall (Magik Mall don't take NOTHING back!)... assuming I didn't get too much STANK on it (although Febreeze was invented for a reason). But while that is something W.C. can get away with, you cain't! Plus, W.C. ain't got no paycheck and everybody know you got money, so what is going through your head!? You frustrate me, Girl.
You BEST be glad I won't forward this to JT to gain a competitive advantage over your stank barefoot self. But deep down, W.C. believes in true love, and what says true love MORE than those matching head-to-toe denim outfits you and JT wore that one time? Remember that?! That was special, and worth saving. Together we can make that happen again, Girl!
First step: Cut out them tags. OWN that dress, Girl!