Thursday, December 03, 2009

OMG, Ya'll! Britney is 28!

For real, Britney Spears has done turned 28 years old yesterday!

WC's favorite Mickey Mouse Club member (besides J.T., duh!) is now officially NOT a member of The 27 Club even though... Was she even eligible for it to begin with?

W.C. don't know the answer ...just asking.

Britney didn't even invite W.C. to celebrate with her which is a real shame, 'cause W.C. woulda brung over a fine Cheetos, Funyuns, and Corn Nuts selection, a Justin Timberlake Mega-Mix, and some fine sparkling DRANK such as Andre Cold Duck or Mountain Dew. THAT is the proper way to PAR-TAY and celebrate such a momentous accomplishment.

Go Britney! It's your Birthday!

Speaking of peoples who are alive, W.C. is NOT DEAD even though she has been on the down low AND got specifically dis-invited from at least one wedding this year. Yes, W.C. got served! Well eff ya'll too! Snooty-ass married people! No Cheetos for you!

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough

This is no longer Breaking News, but WC feels she should comment on the untimely (?) death of Michael Jackson. WC dug MJ unconditionally, even if he was weird. WC is weird (and misunderstood), too.

WC liked this MJ:WC liked this MJ, too:
WC even liked THIS MJ: TOP 10 things WC will fondly remember about Michael Jackson:

1) The Glove
2) The other MJ fashions, like fantastic sparkled marching band and military inspired jackets
3) The singin'.
4) The dancin' (all the MOVES, including the moonwalk).
5) We are the World, We are the Children (WC has sung this when she's drankin')
7) MJ's kids, since MJ seems to be the kind of parent WC would be. Naming a kid Blanket or Princess WC, Jr., making them wear masks, dangling them over a hotel balcony, etc.
8) Parasols. WC is afraid of the sun, and if WC were to come out in the daylight she'd appreciate a good parasol like MJ did, especially if there's someone else (like a manservant or porter) to shade me with it.
9) The weird MJ stories, like the oxygen chamber, the Elephant Man's bones, and Bubbles the chimp.
10) WC would also like to chill at Neverland Ranch.

But one thing WC will never understand is why MJ liked hangin' around with all them kids. Kids are nasty, loud, stank li'l goblins, who don't respect their elders. DRINK THE JEEBUS JUICE and go to sleep 'cause WC gotta hit the town! Hahahaha. J/K, kids. WC luvs ya'll... from afar.

But WC digresses. MJ was huge, no matter how you look at it, and if he had hung out with WC she'da probably chased off that snake oil doctor who had injected him with all them drugs.


Tuesday, March 03, 2009

WC's Florida Happenings: The Ol' McNugget Switcharoo

OK Ya'll. Did you hear how a lady in Ft. Pierce called 9-1-1 because the McDonald's ran out of McNuggets? (Click the link to read the story, and hear the audio).

So this lady, named Latreasa L. Goodman, paid for her McNuggets... and then all of a sudden, they didn't have any more McNuggets. Supposedly they tried to get her to order something else that was not McNuggets that cost the same as McNuggets, like a McDouble, and said they couldn't refund her money. Ummmm....

OK, FIRST, a "McDouble" is NOT anywhere close to being McNuggets. No other item on the McDonald's menu is close. McNuggets are their own food group. Also, adding a "small" fry on top of that is insulting, even through Latreasa ordered a small fry to begin with. A small fry is what you get when you just want to wet the inside of your mouth with a little bit of delicious salt and grease, and NOT what you should be offered when your McNugget rug has just been yanked out from under your feet. Super Size that lady's fries! Duh.

Second, if you are hungry for McNuggets, and you went into McDonalds, and ordered McNuggets, and you paid for McNuggets, and you are expecting McNuggets, and your mouth is watering for McNuggets, and then you don't get any McNuggets, THAT IS AN EMERGENCY! For realz.

Now, WC LURVES Mickey D's. And WC ESPECIALLY loves McNuggets. No matter how mad or sad you may be, McNuggets will make it better. WC is not trying to speak ill of that venerable institution as a whole. But c'mon, McDonald's of Ft. Pierce! You should have given Latreasa's money back. More importantly, you shoulda warned her ahead of time that you didn't have McNuggets. Even MORE importantly, you should have re-ordered the McNuggets before you ran out of them.

A McDonald's without McNuggets is pointless.

Let me end up on a happier note by telling you a nice story about McDonald's: WC had ordered a Super Size Fry, and sat down to eat it with a big ol' pile of ketchup, and it were pretty derned good, except then all of a sudden a McDonald's employee came over with a tray of a BRAND NEW HOT FRIES and apologized that the last fries might have been a bit cool. Of course, WC ate both the old fries and the new hot fries.

Now THAT was some serious customer service, and that is also why WC wears the stretchy pants.

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Ooooh LAWD, it has been a long time!

Ok, WC apologizes for the loooooong absence, since x-mas time. No excuses, I was just bein lazy, eatin' cheetos, drinking champagne straight from the wonderful champagne mini-bottles, and watching The Bachelor and Mama's Boys on the television, or the "tell-lay" as they say in England, according to my (allegedly) English hootchie-friend Shell-lay, who ya'll don't know.

Anyhow, ya'lls who are reading this deserve an update, and the least WC can do is to show off the special xmas presents that 5 Dolla made for WC and the whole gang!!! 5 Dolla got an email from somewheres about making your own xmas prezzies for less money than if you bought em in the store. And SURE ENOUGH! 5 Dolla went and out-did herself. Oh yes she did!
Yes.... those are PERSONALIZED MAXI PAD SLIPPERS FOR WC!!!!!!!!!!!

The slippers, modeled. Now ya'll know that WC's shoe size is "extra-long nighttime maxi without wings"..... These slippers feature glitter paint, and sandpaper soles for traction. That girl thought of everything!

EVERYBODY got special, purty, sparkley "ghet-toes" slippers from 5 Dolla this year----Oats, BB, NiNi, Z-Dawg, Double-D, and WC, of course. It was glorious. As that hootchie Shell-lay might say in her horrendous accent, which I believe is fake: "Gawd bless us, ev-ray one."

Hope to holla at you kids again soon.... but right now WC has to concentrate on wiping the cheeto dust offa this keyboard.