Wednesday, February 28, 2007

W.C.'s Featured Style O' the Week, # 1

W.C. gets sent lots of emails with PURTY pictures of people with their nails and hair did. W.C. wants to share the wealth of these LOVELY creations. Now, W.C. don't wanna be accused of stealing folks' pictures. I gots these via email. So, if you are the manicurist or the hair-dooer who did any picture I post, or if the pic is of your head or foot, let me know. I'll be happy to attribu-tate you to the photo, or let people know where your nail shop is, and maybe even stop by myself. The photos I shall post are no boring, ORDINARY styles.... So, here we go, Numero Uno:

These nails are really something special, and W.C. likes them MOST OF ALL because the drinks featured here, especially Mountain Dew, are some of the BEST and most TASTIEST drinks in the world. We got RC Cola, Pepsi, Mello Yellow (!!!!!!), Dr. Pepper, Diet Dr. Pepper, Sprite, and 7Up. This person must work for PepsiCo, because of the Coca-Cola shut out.

W.C. sez: "Bravo! Bravo!" What do ya'll think?!

Sunday, February 25, 2007

Never mind, girl.

Dear BiBi: I just read the news. Forget I said anything about trying to get you and Justin Timberlake back together. When I wrote that the time was ripe for you to leap into action to get Justin's attention, I didn't mean you should do THIS:

Ooh, LAWD! Girl, first of all: You are looking craygee, and it ain't even The Baldness. It's your eyes. You are shooting crazy bullets out of them eyes.

Second of all: How you gonna copy MY style, with your new wig, and wearing shiny glasses at night, and dancing on tables and drinking beverages with alcohol in them until your nose turns red, sneaking out of rehab, walking around barefooted, and hitting peoples' cars with umbrellas? That's MY thing. You are stomping your crusty feets on MY territory. You are just like this girl "Black Vanilla" that I know, who lives in a trailer with Ni Ni's ex-BF Artel in Apopka, who is constantly copying everything I do.

Third of all: W.C. aimed a little high by saying we could get you back with JT. Girl, do you WANT you a man? It isn't required, of course. For example, W.C. has been single and happy since the beginning of time, besides deep-meaningful-relationships-from-afar with several celebrity boyfriends. However, IF you do want yourself a BoyFriend (OR a GF?) then W.C. suggests aiming a little lower.

Stanky Federline MIGHT be a candidate given your history together, although --- W.C. is shocked at saying this --- Stank-Fed might be a little above your league at this point....

Final point: Did u adopt your kids over to Angelina J. and Brad P.? Maybe you should consider it! Heck, even W.C. would do a better job looking after them babies at this point.

What has the world come to?

Monday, February 05, 2007

Oooh, Britney! Not again, Girl!

Girl! I was checking out one of the gossip blogs I read, and I saw something that like to have made me slack-jawed in disbelief. GIRL. Well yes, I know you done showed your hootchie cootchie a coupla times. But THAT is NOT what I am talking about. Rather, the thing that bothers W.C. is THIS:

GIRL, it looks to me like you done left that TAG IN YOUR DRESS. Oh. My. Goodness.

PLEASE don't tell me you gonna return it later, except I already know that is the ONLY reason somebody gonna leave a tag in a dress. I KNOW it ain't comfortable having that stiff tag rubbing against you, and I KNOW you can FEEL it, girl. Well, W.C. can sure SEE it. And if W.C. can see it, JUSTIN CAN SEE IT. AND IF JUSTIN CAN SEE IT, HOPE MAY BE LOST.

Sure, W.C. has maybe left a tag in a purty blouse or something, once or twice, and then took it back to the West Oaks Mall (Magik Mall don't take NOTHING back!)... assuming I didn't get too much STANK on it (although Febreeze was invented for a reason). But while that is something W.C. can get away with, you cain't! Plus, W.C. ain't got no paycheck and everybody know you got money, so what is going through your head!? You frustrate me, Girl.

You BEST be glad I won't forward this to JT to gain a competitive advantage over your stank barefoot self. But deep down, W.C. believes in true love, and what says true love MORE than those matching head-to-toe denim outfits you and JT wore that one time? Remember that?! That was special, and worth saving. Together we can make that happen again, Girl!

First step: Cut out them tags. OWN that dress, Girl!