Saturday, October 20, 2007

Holla at WC: Ramon edition

Ok, so a long time ago, one of W.C.'s "fans" named Ramon the Pool Boy asked W.C. a question, which W.C. didn't answer and so it somehow allegedly caused Ramon the Pool Boy to get deported.

Oops. But not really, because how is Ramon gonna try to get his deportation advice from a bona-fide par-tay girl?

Here is his question:
bye de wey i tink i habe a cuestion regardin soneteen importan. do choo no any peepls that can hel me get a green car? i need a green car so mosh eets not fony. to work and to do all de eh-stof dat peepls do heer in the choonited eh-states. been de wise and bootiful mamacita dat choo ar maybe choo no sone peepl dat no sone peepl no? green cars are har to come by ese truss me Ramon noes. can choo hel me WC get in toush wid soneone wid a green car?
Blah, blah, blah. Say what? And then he got all huffy when W.C. ignored him, and he wrote again:
hey mami, how com choo no answer no more eh? orale!!!! ramoncito no write to choo no more. i want a green car.
W.C. doesn't believe that Ramon will stop writing as promised, and figures she'll have to answer him to get him to "CALLATE."

OK, Ramon. W.C. don't even know exactly what you're talking about (ever), because your accent is inscrutable, W.C. suggests that Ramon get in touch with this guy:

Green Car! BOO-YA!

Oh, and Ramon.... if you don't want to get deported again, you should find yourself a nice U.S. citizen to trick into marrying you. BUT LAWD, NOT W.C.! Don't even THINK about it!

Saturday, October 06, 2007

BloBi and BruBi, the Wonder Twins

Everybody be asking: "Hey, WC, why are you not talking about BiBi's crazy antics?" Well, WC has been on a spiritual journey of her own. No, I won't go into details, but it involved cheetos, a case of canned sparkling wine, and a wave-runner.

It seems to WC that BiBi has at least two personalities. There is Blonde BiBi (BloBi) and Brunette BiBi (BruBi). Each one gets into their own different messes.

BruBi commits a hit-and-run, while the next day across town, BloBi is dropping a baby on it's poor little soft head. BruBi shaves her head, while BloBi "performs" for the VMA's.
Neither of these two wonder-hootchies realize that it's the year 2007, on planet Earth, or that it's generally considered unseemly to smoke crack naked in front of one's babies.
Ya'll, W.C. just got back from a Cheetos-and-canned-wine-spiritual-sabbatical, and even W.C. understands these life lessons.

And the OTHER thing W.C. knows:


Did you all KNOW that W.C. has an alter ego??? Shocking, I know. But yes, it's true. And now you know.