For the record....

White Chocolate does NOT have Bieber Fever.

Bieber has nothing on JT!!!

NATIONAL WHITE CHOCOLATE DAY!

Oh my GOOOOOODNESSS!

Today, September 22, is National White Chocolate Day, and nobody even done TOLD ME!

Well, in honor of my WC's new favorite day of the year, WC has updated her blog template. Ain't it PURTY???

All My Chirrun

W.C. was up in the Seffner Wal-Mart on Easter Sunday.

(By the way, have you HAD dark-chocolate covered Peeps yet? And if not, why not? Careful, Chocolate Covered Peeps are not to be confused with "Chocolate Dipped Peeps" which is just a regular-old nasty Peep with its toes dipped in chocolate. Regular-old Peeps make WC's teeth hurt from all the crunchy dye-flavored sugar, but there is something tantalizing about Chocolate Covered Peeps. Also, have you ever tried to see how many regular Peeps fit in your mouth? If so, how many was it?).

Anyway, this girl up in the Wal-mart was SO COUNTRY, and talking so LOUD on her mobile phone, so W.C. clearly overheard her talking on the phone about "ALL MY CHIRRUN"....

W.C. doesn't know whether she was talking about the television show, or about all her kids, but....

CHIRRUN!!!!!

Style O' the Week #13: Oreo Head

W.C. was surfing on the internets, and found a photo of a lovely at lady posted by Tosh.0's website, via another website.

W.C. is more of a tostitos-toenail-airbrush-job kinda gal, but this is some fancy-ass hair! Girl, why are you at Sam's Club? I'd think you might want to be at a REAL club with that fancy hair!

Then again, Sam's Club has enough good stuff up in there that you can just go on and throw your OWN fancy-ass par-tay in your back yard. I see where this is going... Well, don't forget the chips, nor the dips, and don't forget to invite W.C.!!!

Dear Carlos Irwin Estevez... It's Nap Time.

Yes, you have tiger's blood. Yes, you are "WINNING!" I don't think anyone is going to dispute that, you dirty devil, you. Just look at you!!!

W.C. can relate to someone who loves to PAR-TAY. W.C. understands someone who likes drankin' and Doin' the Dew....

However, W.C. would like to humbly suggest that you take a break. A rest. Take a little "Charlie Time" and cool out a bit. Get a massage. Get a cucumber facial. Take a dip in the ocean, or a warm mud bath. Maybe get some acupuncture and reflexology. Drink a cup of herbal tea. Cleanse yourself.

Because drugs-alcohol-and-hookers --- or not --- your ass is looking a bit TIRED!

This is you on the Piers Morgan show.

It might feel like you are moving at the speed of awesome, but Dr. W.C. is here to tell you that this is the face of a man in need of a good NAP.

Charlie.... please know that W.C. is not insulting you!!!! Please don't make W.C.'s head explode with laser-vision or mind-bullets.

This is just a recommendation for optimal health from good ol' Dr. W.C.

(Also, as a side note, don't be slapping around the ladies. If you did that, it's not cool, and it's bad karma. One day you might accidentally slap the wrong lady who is gonna take her shoes and earrings off and give you a beat down!)

COOL OUT! Nap Time for Charlie!!!

Christina Aguilera, get your hair did!

So, WC has to comment on the fact that Christina a/k/a "X-tina" a/k/a "TiTi" Aguilera sang the national anthem at the Super Bowl.

Everyone is saying she "forgot" the words, or she "mistakenly" sang the words messed-up.

WRONG! W.C. is pretty sure that TiTi sang that song wrong on PURPOSE because she was trying to distract everyone's attention from that STANK, stringy, old-baby-doll-haired wig!

OK, OK, wait a second. Yes, you are correct if you are to say that W.C. has a busted wig... But guess what? W.C. ain't got no J-O-B! On the other hand, TiTi does have a job, even if she is spending all her money on donuts.

That hair looks like TiTi found it at the bottom of the old "Clearance Hair Bin" at Beauty Depot (the one in Pine Hills that used to be a Publix, which is next to "J-Mart" that used to be K-Mart that used to be Zayre):

TiTi---get your hair off the regular wig-heads, and skip the bargin bin---take care of your hair girl, be it real, or be it fake!

Stank Face

Lindsay done got herself a jail sentence, and just look at the STANK FACE she had on while in court today:

GURL! You are one hot mess:

showing off your nethers to the world

crashing par-tays

stealing peoples' stuff (so the rumors go)

showing up late for work

gettin your drank on while driving..... and more importantly, after getting busted multiple times, you didn't learn any kind of lesson, or even try to make it to all your drinkin classes!!! That Judge gave you a bunch of chances. You NEEDED to get served!

Miss Ho-Han, all that adds up to some serious STANKNESS. You KNOW you're stank when WC wouldn't even consider going to a par-tay with you. You give partying a bad name!

One thing WC really wants to know is, couldn't you afford a derned LIMOUSINE? Lawd!

All that being said, if you decide to go all BiBi Spears and shave off your hair, WC will go wig shopping with you!

OMG, Ya'll! Britney is 28!

For real, Britney Spears has done turned 28 years old yesterday!

WC's favorite Mickey Mouse Club member (besides J.T., duh!) is now officially NOT a member of The 27 Club even though... Was she even eligible for it to begin with?

W.C. don't know the answer ...just asking.

Britney didn't even invite W.C. to celebrate with her which is a real shame, 'cause W.C. woulda brung over a fine Cheetos, Funyuns, and Corn Nuts selection, a Justin Timberlake Mega-Mix, and some fine sparkling DRANK such as Andre Cold Duck or Mountain Dew. THAT is the proper way to PAR-TAY and celebrate such a momentous accomplishment.

Go Britney! It's your Birthday!

Speaking of peoples who are alive, W.C. is NOT DEAD even though she has been on the down low AND got specifically dis-invited from at least one wedding this year. Yes, W.C. got served! Well eff ya'll too! Snooty-ass married people! No Cheetos for you!