Style O' the Week #13: Oreo Head

W.C. was surfing on the internets, and found a photo of a lovely at lady posted by Tosh.0's website, via another website.

W.C. is more of a tostitos-toenail-airbrush-job kinda gal, but this is some fancy-ass hair! Girl, why are you at Sam's Club? I'd think you might want to be at a REAL club with that fancy hair!

Then again, Sam's Club has enough good stuff up in there that you can just go on and throw your OWN fancy-ass par-tay in your back yard. I see where this is going... Well, don't forget the chips, nor the dips, and don't forget to invite W.C.!!!

Christina Aguilera, get your hair did!

So, WC has to comment on the fact that Christina a/k/a "X-tina" a/k/a "TiTi" Aguilera sang the national anthem at the Super Bowl.

Everyone is saying she "forgot" the words, or she "mistakenly" sang the words messed-up.

WRONG! W.C. is pretty sure that TiTi sang that song wrong on PURPOSE because she was trying to distract everyone's attention from that STANK, stringy, old-baby-doll-haired wig!

OK, OK, wait a second. Yes, you are correct if you are to say that W.C. has a busted wig... But guess what? W.C. ain't got no J-O-B! On the other hand, TiTi does have a job, even if she is spending all her money on donuts.

That hair looks like TiTi found it at the bottom of the old "Clearance Hair Bin" at Beauty Depot (the one in Pine Hills that used to be a Publix, which is next to "J-Mart" that used to be K-Mart that used to be Zayre):

TiTi---get your hair off the regular wig-heads, and skip the bargin bin---take care of your hair girl, be it real, or be it fake!

BiBi had a Birthday

Happy Birthday to BiBi. Oh, what? WC is BELATED in conveying these birthday wishes? Well, where was BiBi when it was WC's birthday, hmmmm? No card, no cake, no nothing. Bee-yotch!But seriously girl, congratulations on surviving to your 27th. Even them pumpkin-headed KIDS of yours survived to your 27th! I credit K-Fed for that.

WC took the liberty of writing out a birthday list for you. If anyone wants to help out BiBi, just send these items "care of" WC.

---calorie-free cheetos

---A better weave (hair done)
---A better manicure (nails did)
---champagne (WC will have to drink this for BiBi since she's rehabbed)

---7 Minutes in Heaven with Justin Timberlake

---Birthday dinner: Some baby back ribs in some goooood sauce, with a side of tater salad.
---a billion dollars (of course, WC will need manage this $$ for BiBi like her Daddy already does with her other $$).

And by the way, BiBi... it's clear to us all that you done lost your sparkle. Where is it? You better find it! May this be the year you get your sparkle back!

XOXO (yeah, WC watches Gossip Girl),
WC

W.C. Ain't Joshin'....

Aww, W.C. missed you kids! Well..... MOST of you, anyhow.

Perhaps you were thinking: "Where in tarnation has W.C. been?" Or perhaps you didn't care. But W.C. will tell you anyway.

W.C. got involved in a simple case of mistaken identity, and ended up behind bars at 33rd Street Jail! Mmm hmm..... Some derned fool W.C. impostor went on a Fritos-related crime spree (no wonder there was a mix-up cause W.C. loves some Fritos, as you all well know).

Perhaps you are thinking: "W.C., if it was so simple, how come you didn't get let out right away?"

Well, W.C. got one phone call, and HAD to use it to vote for Joshua on So You Think You Can Dance. Oooooh lawd "Joshuer" (as Cat Deely says) can dance!

Then, after the nice folks at 33rd took pity on W.C. and let her make another call, she had to call 5 Dolla and remind 5 Dolla to vote for Joshuer. And it worked, Joshuer won!
Anyway, obviously things got straightened out. It was not so bad in there, on account of the FREE FOOD and whatnot, and plenty of time to practice DANCE MOVES.

But W.C. is also happy to be out and about. There has even been a party, and 5 Dolla and Dominick were both there, and W.C. has PICTURES!!! But, no pictures shall be posted without their consent, because they are looking CRAY-GEE.

As NiNi would say: "It were good."

And as for the Imposter-Hootchie-or-Dude, W.C. is going to hunt them down! Nobody steals snack foods in the name of W.C. without sharing the bounty! "Get outta my chips!"

W.C. may or may not blog again soon, depending on whether something exciting happens.

So, what's been up with you?

As 5 Dolla would say: "Holla back!"

BiBi's Daddy Got Her Money

OOh, Child... BiBi, look what you went and did by not listening to White Chocolate. You got your daddy in control of all your stuff, and K-Diddy got them kids.

Now, THAT second thang about the kids ain't so bad. After all, who really wants to do more than VISIT with kids? Besides, like, people who live in the 'burbs. Let K-Diddy do all the heavy lifting.

But what about your MONEY? IF you had listened to W.C., we could be out, get our hair done, and our nails did, going dranking, dancing, going on multi-hundred dollar shopping sprees at Wal-Mart or whatever your favorite store is, and eating as many derned "Cheetos" as we want.

I heard your daddy is paying himself multiple thousands per month. W.C. will do the job for half what he's making. Let me holla at your judge!

Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Bride!

Oh LAWD. WC done been in a weddin'!

The bride (Ms. W.O.B.) was lovely, and the groom (Mr. B.B.) was frightening (and neither will be depicted here because neither will agree to be associated with WC beyond "family" events), but WC was really in her element, don't you agree?

And none other than that hootchie 5 Dolla was another of the Bridesmaids:
She is a really something, ain't she??? Dominick Centaur (dressed as a Goth Extraordinarre) and Bn Bn (fresh of the boat from Myanmar) were there, too. It was an allstar cast of characters. A real wedding, can you believe it??? This lends a great deal of credibility to W.C.

She got her nails done, hair did, and everything!

WC is Back, and Corey Haim is Still Wack

WC is back, from a long trip, where WC was in a real live wedding! True story. I got my nails done, AND my hair did. It was the social event of the year!

Photos will follow, but only if WC looks purty in any of them. Otherwise, you'll have to just use your imagination.

In the meantime, for no good reason, check out this super 80's photo of Corey Haim and Corey Feldman:

WC's bestest friend (and occasional arch-nemesis) 5 Dolla used to LOVE Corey Haim back in the day, and WC never understood it. 5 Dolla had Tiger Beat photos of him all over her walls. It was basically a Shrine O' Haim.

So funny!

Even by 80's middle school standards, the Coreys were wack!

BiBi Spears Still Copying W.C.'s Style

Uh huh. Girl, you are busted.

Here is the evidence that you are still trying to copy W.C.:

1) Rumors are flying that you didn't want your hair to be blonde for the VMA's. You wanted to get your hair did dark. Your "people" made you go blonde. You know you love W.C's dark n' lovely locks.

2) You got your DRINK on right before dancing. A classic W.C. move.

3) You eschewed the wardrobe choice of your handlers, who wanted to cover up your chunk. Instead, you chose to let it all hang out, with lots of bling. Again, a classic W.C. move.

4) The song you did was "Gimme More" which W.C. says all the time, especially when talking about Nachos, Hot Dogs, or Champagne.

5) BiBi, do you NEED any more comparisons? Girl, wake up! You do your thang, and let W.C. along do her own thing! We gotta deal? Don't make us break down all of the dance moves you done STOLE from W.C. during your "performance"...

Tyra Needs A Stylist, or Else She's Looking for a Man-Sasquatch

Oh Lawd! Tyra Banks, you need to stop yourself:


What were you trying to go for with this look? It is ostrich-inspired? Is the shoulder fur scented with pheromones to attract yourself a man-squatch?

You coulda looked 75% better with a nice wig or fake ponytail, and some purty black peep toe sandals. Why are you wearing booties???

OMG, it's the toes, isn't it? You forgot to get your toes did, didn't you? I bet you have some crusty, scraggly, unpedicured, stank feets up in those boots? Oh Snap.

Girl, how you gonna tell a bunch of America's Next Top Model wannabees how to dress themselves and pretend to be models, and you can't even get yourself ready for a par-tay!?

WC needs to get her hair did

HELP!!! I need to get my hair did! This is basically how it look right now, except more messed up. Yeah, I am still FINE and LOVELY. But I could be finer. I been to wigs.com, wigcompany.com, and some other places. I looked at different weaves, and braids, and styles... There are two problems: 1) Cain't decide. 2) Cain't afford. Oh hell, ya'll... Going to parties is fun, but it don't pay the rent, and neither do I... HA HA!

Seriously though, WC solicits your advice on which new hairstyle to choose... And uh.... donations will be accepted. There will be fundraisers! First, there gonna be a Kool-Aid, boiled p-nut, and Kash n' Karry cupcake sale, intermittantly, on the corner of Mercy and Colonial in Pine Hills, or Hwy 50 and Hwy 27 in Cleremont (wherever I can get a ride to). But don't make me resort to selling my *bling* on eBay, damn! This fundraising activity shall continue until I reach my goal of fabulous new hair... SHOW YOUR SUPPORT, bitches!

OH MY GOODNESS!!!

WC went and got her party on last night, oh yes she did. The party was fan-fricken-tastic, something to do with Tibetans... the Krishnas were there playing music (but no JT tunes, boo hoo), there was a fire-dancing chick, and a DJ, and lots of silent auction stuff to bid on... WC bid on lots and lots of stuff, using The Guv's name as a joke! Ha ha ha! WC got her picture took, but wished she had gotten her hair did.

Nails Done, Hair Did

White Chocolate, the early days.