Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Holiday Greetings from BiBi, Ya'll

Awww, BiBi done sent the world a greeting on her website! Ain't that sweet? But BiBi, where is WC's PERSONALIZED greeting and present? After all WC has done for you this year? Hmph! Well, don't worry girl, there is still time!This is what WC would like:
It's a Mirror-Miata! Perfect! THANKS IN ADVANCE, Girl!

HAPPY FESTIVUS TO EVERYBODY, and don't forget to drink some champagne for WC on NYE!!! Get your PART-TAY on! If ya'll dress up as WC IMPOSTERS and send me a picture, I'll post my favorite ones here, and you'll be SO FAMOUS, just like WC.

Friday, December 05, 2008

BiBi had a Birthday

Happy Birthday to BiBi. Oh, what? WC is BELATED in conveying these birthday wishes? Well, where was BiBi when it was WC's birthday, hmmmm? No card, no cake, no nothing. Bee-yotch!But seriously girl, congratulations on surviving to your 27th. Even them pumpkin-headed KIDS of yours survived to your 27th! I credit K-Fed for that.

WC took the liberty of writing out a birthday list for you. If anyone wants to help out BiBi, just send these items "care of" WC.

---calorie-free cheetos
---A better weave (hair done)
---A better manicure (nails did)
---champagne (WC will have to drink this for BiBi since she's rehabbed)
---7 Minutes in Heaven with Justin Timberlake
---Birthday dinner: Some baby back ribs in some goooood sauce, with a side of tater salad.
---a billion dollars (of course, WC will need manage this $$ for BiBi like her Daddy already does with her other $$).

And by the way, BiBi... it's clear to us all that you done lost your sparkle. Where is it? You better find it! May this be the year you get your sparkle back!

XOXO (yeah, WC watches Gossip Girl),

Monday, October 13, 2008

Another Imposter???

This weekend, W.C. went to Starbucks to stock up on cheese danish samples, free brown napkins, free Splenda packets, etc., when WHAT DID SHE SPY WITH HER LITTLE EYE?


LAWD!!! Yes, that's right folks. It's a big, huge White Chocolate Impersonator! W.C. wishes she coulda got a picture of this hootchie's face, but it was too difficult from her vantage point, hiding behind the Half & Half at the coffee-fixins counter.

Also, W.C. woulda confronted her, but that was one huge bitch! In FLAT SHOES,The Imposter was well over six feet tall, and W.C. was wearing flip flops, so W.C. was only a moderately huge bitch. You cain't be gettin in no fights wearing no flip flops.

One thing that disturbs W.C.? This Imposter was NOT wearing a WIG. That is her everyday hur, not just her going-out hur! Does that make W.C. The Imposter?!?!?! Oh snap!

This could be the hootchie who stole them Fritos and got W.C. throwed in the jailhouse!!!

Thursday, August 21, 2008

W.C. Ain't Joshin'....

Aww, W.C. missed you kids! Well..... MOST of you, anyhow.

Perhaps you were thinking: "Where in tarnation has W.C. been?" Or perhaps you didn't care. But W.C. will tell you anyway.

W.C. got involved in a simple case of mistaken identity, and ended up behind bars at 33rd Street Jail! Mmm hmm..... Some derned fool W.C. impostor went on a Fritos-related crime spree (no wonder there was a mix-up cause W.C. loves some Fritos, as you all well know).

Perhaps you are thinking: "W.C., if it was so simple, how come you didn't get let out right away?"

Well, W.C. got one phone call, and
HAD to use it to vote for Joshua on So You Think You Can Dance. Oooooh lawd "Joshuer" (as Cat Deely says) can dance!

Then, after the nice folks at 33rd took pity on W.C. and let her make another call, she had to call 5 Dolla and remind 5 Dolla to vote for Joshuer. And it worked, Joshuer won!

Anyway, obviously things got straightened out. It was not so bad in there, on account of the FREE FOOD and whatnot, and plenty of time to practice DANCE MOVES.

But W.C. is also happy to be out and about. There has even been a party, and 5 Dolla and Dominick were both there, and W.C. has PICTURES!!! But, no pictures shall be posted without their consent, because they are looking CRAY-GEE.

As NiNi would say: "It were good."

And as for the Imposter-Hootchie-or-Dude, W.C. is going to hunt them down! Nobody steals snack foods in the name of W.C. without sharing the bounty! "Get outta my chips!"

W.C. may or may not blog again soon, depending on whether something exciting happens.

So, what's been up with you?

As 5 Dolla would say: "Holla back!"

Thursday, March 13, 2008

BiBi's Daddy Got Her Money

OOh, Child... BiBi, look what you went and did by not listening to White Chocolate. You got your daddy in control of all your stuff, and K-Diddy got them kids.

Now, THAT second thang about the kids ain't so bad. After all, who really wants to do more than VISIT with kids? Besides, like, people who live in the 'burbs. Let K-Diddy do all the heavy lifting.

But what about your MONEY? IF you had listened to W.C., we could be out, get our hair done, and our nails did, going dranking, dancing, going on multi-hundred dollar shopping sprees at Wal-Mart or whatever your favorite store is, and eating as many derned "Cheetos" as we want.

I heard your daddy is paying himself multiple thousands per month. W.C. will do the job for half what he's making. Let me holla at your judge!

Tuesday, March 04, 2008


FYI, and R.I.P. to this dude, Gary Gygax, who was a co-creator of Dungeons and Dragons.W.C. got kicked out of her only game of "Dungeons and Dragons" because some of the nerd-players took offense to W.C. trying to kill all the other game characters, and because W.C. got chicken-wing grease all over the dice, and also she drank up the nerds' beers, and didn't take the game seriously enough. *Whatever!*

For realz though, this is sad because this guy was probably real creative, and he made a lot of nerds happy.

Saturday, February 16, 2008

Happy Belated Balentimes!

Oh LAWD, I totally forgot to wish ya'll a Happy Valentine's Day (a/k/a Balentimes).

But, you KNOW that all that chocolate at Walgreens goes on say AFTER February 14th, right?

QUESTION: Why does the full-priced chocolate seem like it tastes better than 1/2 priced chocolate the day after V-Day?

WC heard, AFTER THE FACT, that somebody had asked an acquaintance of WC's about being her Balentime. OH HELL NO. Why you didn't tell me, trick?

I missed out on Necco talky-hearts, or Red-hots, or a Scooby Doo Balentime, or even a fancy silken rose. Or, if this was a real, quality Balentime, W.C. coulda got her EAT and DRANK on! Surf & Turf, baby!

Well, whatever. Here is your V-Day Prezzie, which I stole offa the internetz:

OK, I'ma go to Walgreen's now and get my sugar-buzz on......................... Heart-shaped Whitman's Sampler, here I come! I'll give ya'll the ones I poke my finger into and don't like.

By the way, thanks for keeping on looking out for WC to write something. WC been real busy [lazy], because the weather outside here in The M-I-A is niiiiiice, and I keep waking up under a palm tree, like a crackhead. I'll try to holla at you a little more frequently, tho.

There is always something for WC to talk about!

Kisses, hugs, hearts, kittens, rainbows, unicorns, Surf n' Turf, and DRANK,


Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Eugoogelizing young hot talented people sucks.

Oh hell no!
We have lost Heath Ledger, who was an all around hot and talented dude, including when he was a hot gay cowboy. W.C. is truly shocked, appalled, and saddened at the loss of a hot man such as this... and in the same week as Josh Renfro... who was more on the B list, but not un-hot or un-talented by any means.

Kids! Pills are to be respected, and AVOIDED. Now, in olden times, W.C. would eat a pill indiscriminately, like Miss Lady PacMan... but that don't make it right, or smart!

Note: Elvis, Marylin Monroe, Jimmy Hendrix, and a ton of other people done expired prematurely due to pills. If you need to take pills, W.C. suggests TicTacs, or Altoids. That will fulfill your oral pill-popping fixation, and ALSO help your breath stankness.

For real, though. The Dark Knight movie with Heath as the Joker is probably gonna be awesome, but sad now. R.I.P. Heath, which, by the way is one of the best candy bars in existence.

W.C. has a tear in her beer.

Wednesday, January 09, 2008

W.C.'s - Style O' the Week #12 - Nails Did!

White Chocolate is always ALL UP in the Internetz, and sometimes she finds some interesting stuff. Case in point:This is a photo of a chick called Coko from the old school singin' group SWV. Sadly, W.C. don't remember them.

Anyhow, W.C. stole the photo and caption from one of W.C.'s favorite bloggers, Rich of FourFour. Here is the link to his blog, which should knock your socks off, if you have ever watched ANTM, or ProjRun, or if you like cats or dance music.

Anyhow, just LOOK at them nails! That takes work, seriously! W.C. would get them all tangled in her hair in no time!