Friday, April 27, 2007

Holla at WC: Question from Black Vanilla

***"Holla at W.C." is a (new) feature of W.C.'s Blog, which shall serve as a forum in which W.C. can help you in the journey of life. You have questions. W.C. ALWAYS has an answer.***

Dear WC:
Ware culd I find some good hare reemoovin creem? I been usin this Nair stuff an it jus give me the wors rash. Lordy! This uther nite when I were expecting Artel to come over to spen tha nite, I naired down in my cooch and then alla sudden got this awful fearsom itch. turn out it were a aylurjick reyakshun! Now i gotta find sumthin uther than Nair. Any Sujessjuns?
Yur Frend,
BV

WC RESPONDS: OOH LAWD. Black Vanilla, I know that's you writing. But even if I hadn't already seen your myspace pics, I would KNOW you must be one HAIRY BITCH! You would not be writing if you weren't as hairy as a damn SASQUATCH!
Girl! Throw that Nair out! Call in the big guns! You ever tried waxing? It hurts like hell, but it don't grow back so fast as the Nair'd hairs do.

Let me warn you though: WC went to a FANCY joint here in Miami Beach to get my hootchie cootchie waxed. Down here they call it a Brazilian, and let me tell you, they go ALL the way from Canada to Brazil. Once I left, I felt like I pretty much just had a thespian experience. Those ladies get right comfortable with your kibbles and bits! But wouldn't you know it? I went and showed my manfolk how I had done got a wax, and he told me how he prefers a hairy Sasquatch woman! He left me and my Uncle Fester... and went and found a hippie chick:
Can you believe that? Some mens just like hur. So first, maybe you ought to ask your boyfriend Artel what he like. Maybe he like a little TEXTURE in that region!
But then, if it turn out he like it smooth, make HIS ASS pay for it. AND while your at it, make his ass buy you a 40 before you go in there.... ...or a derned roofie... because OOOOOOH LAWD. All W.C. is saying, it's best your ass be drunk before, during, and after it happens.

Good luck & let me know how it go!

xoxo,
White Chocolate

P.S... To anybody else who wanna write WC, I won't out your name if you don't want me to. But I figured Black Vanilla wouldn't mind, and she didn't say she didn't wanna be shouted out.

P.P.S.. I'ma gonna get my drank on tonight! C-Ya!

2 comments:

NiNi said...

oooooh shit! ain't no hep for dat gurl! she too hairy fo nair & da clippers Artel give her down wo out from bein use too much. that pix of Sasquatch look almos like BV.

Anonymous said...

Dear White Chocolate,
It is getting near Mother's Day, and I thought I'd ask you if you have any cool gift ideas. My mom doesn't like kitschy gifts. I thought of getting her 14 gifts (for the number of years she's been my mom) or maybe 20(for the years she's been a mother in general.) It depends on how many ideas I get. What I have so far:
1. Flowers
2. Chocolate
3. Thermos (for work)
4. Really good coffee
5. ??

P.S. Does going out for ice cream (on me) count as a gift??

Love and smooches,
Mother's Daughter