Sightings: Bennigan's Still Exists?!

WC thought that every Bennigan's Restaurant went out of business. That is not true. WC found a real-live Bennigan's in Miami, near the airport, and ORDERED A DELICIOUS MONTE CRISTO SAMMICH! Here is the evidence: 

This was one of those rare moments when a dream comes true, and WC has no regrets. 

However, WC did not remember the Monte Cristo being such a belly buster.  

Dr. WC will warn you that if you value your arteries, and if your behind is already as big as you'd like for it to get, you should probably order a salad.  This fried turkey, ham, and 2-cheese sammich is soaked in grease, covered in powdered sugar, and comes with a side of raspberry preserves for dipping the whole thing in. That's right. That is not ketchup in the picture, it's more sugar to add to your salty, greasy, sugar sandwich.   

Folks, the sad truth is that WC could not even finish half of this sammich, due to having already eaten half of the appetizer sampler.  LAWD, WC is getting old!!!

WC's Florida Happenings: The Ol' McNugget Switcharoo

OK Ya'll. Did you hear how a lady in Ft. Pierce called 9-1-1 because the McDonald's ran out of McNuggets? (Click the link to read the story, and hear the audio).

So this lady, named Latreasa L. Goodman, paid for her McNuggets... and then all of a sudden, they didn't have any more McNuggets. Supposedly they tried to get her to order something else that was not McNuggets that cost the same as McNuggets, like a McDouble, and said they couldn't refund her money. Ummmm....

OK, FIRST, a "McDouble" is NOT anywhere close to being McNuggets. No other item on the McDonald's menu is close. McNuggets are their own food group. Also, adding a "small" fry on top of that is insulting, even through Latreasa ordered a small fry to begin with. A small fry is what you get when you just want to wet the inside of your mouth with a little bit of delicious salt and grease, and NOT what you should be offered when your McNugget rug has just been yanked out from under your feet. Super Size that lady's fries! Duh.

Second, if you are hungry for McNuggets, and you went into McDonalds, and ordered McNuggets, and you paid for McNuggets, and you are expecting McNuggets, and your mouth is watering for McNuggets, and then you don't get any McNuggets, THAT IS AN EMERGENCY! For realz.

Now, WC LURVES Mickey D's. And WC ESPECIALLY loves McNuggets. No matter how mad or sad you may be, McNuggets will make it better. WC is not trying to speak ill of that venerable institution as a whole. But c'mon, McDonald's of Ft. Pierce! You should have given Latreasa's money back. More importantly, you shoulda warned her ahead of time that you didn't have McNuggets. Even MORE importantly, you should have re-ordered the McNuggets before you ran out of them.

A McDonald's without McNuggets is pointless.

Let me end up on a happier note by telling you a nice story about McDonald's: WC had ordered a Super Size Fry, and sat down to eat it with a big ol' pile of ketchup, and it were pretty derned good, except then all of a sudden a McDonald's employee came over with a tray of a BRAND NEW HOT FRIES and apologized that the last fries might have been a bit cool. Of course, WC ate both the old fries and the new hot fries.

Now THAT was some serious customer service, and that is also why WC wears the stretchy pants.

SIGHTINGS! Famous people W.C. done seen

Hey Ya'll! It's almost the NEW YEAR, and WC is busy with the PARTAY season!

Still, I had to pop in and let ya'll know about my famous-person sighting today...

I was at The News Cafe on Ocean Drive today, with my homegirl, Sh'Annelle.

We had the best seats in the house, and were enjoying a fine winter morning on Miami Beach. It's never too early in the morning for champagne, let me tell you.

So then, the day got EVEN MORE fabulous, when Queen Latifah, a/k/a Dana Owens, came and sat down with the couple at the table next door! OH YES SHE DID. She was looking PURTY, and fresh-faced, and she had some big, sparkly earrings.

WC was super-jealous. For realz. Miss Dana sent back her scrambled eggs, because they was hard. But she was super sweet about it! And they WAS hard, too! I could see.

If ya'll don't hear from me before January the First, then have a HAPPY NEW YEARS!

Florida Happenings: WC Will Eat Your Pet

There is a dude in Miami Beach who carries a rooster named Mr. Clucky all around Miami Beach and Lincoln Rd.

Exhibit A (courtesy of the above link):
WC has seen this dude with his bird. He carries it under his arm while he rides a bike on Lincoln. He shows it off to kids and grown-ups who inquire. Mr. Clucky even has a MySpace page, apparently.

Now, WC done grown up around chickens, has seen them go in the stew pot and the fryer, and has been attacked by several different hens and roosters over time.

WC knows chickens. Chickens are mean and STANK. This guy should have named his rooster McNugget.

Stank Report, South Beach Edition

W.C. is BACK! I owe an "Ask W.C." answer to at LEAST two people, and both of them questions are/were time sensitive. DOH!

W.C. will get on to that task, but in the meantime, here is a camera-phone pic taken on beeyootiful South Beach:

LAWD! You know it gets HOT down here, right? You know it's seriously tropical in these here parts of the United States. Well how the HELL you gonna put your STANK shoes up in the back window of your car?

You know the sun is gonna heat them up, and release a cloud of FOOT FUNK in your auto!

Even if you are homeless, and living out of your car (which sometimes happens in SoBe), please put those shoes in the trunk, baby!

Orlando has Mickey Mouse, M-I-A just gots RATS.

OH LAWD! M-I-A gots RATS! Many, many rats. Like a million. More than W.C. can count up to, fo sho. That is seriously STANK!
The 305 don't sound so fancy when the big international airport is all CHOCK FULL OF RATS, now does it?

M-I-A could hire this guy, or they could just turn the situation into a tourist attraction. Re-name the airport Miami's Famous Rat Jungle and International Airport, with a cute plush Mickey Mouse style mascot, El Raton Rigoberto! Pretend like you planned it that way, M-I-A! Spin that news!

First Promotion: Free cookie to the first 1,000,000 kids to catch one of Rigoberto's cousins! Woo hoo!

Oh Snap! Big Moe Denied Entrance to Shaq's B-Day

The news for the day is that Shaq had a b-day party at the Hard Rock Hotel and Casino, and SOMEHOW Star Jones made it past the velvet rope:

...but poor Big Moe (Anna Nicole's former bodyguard) got denied at the door. Big Moe doesn't even have a JOBBITY JOB anymore, and Shaq's door-dudes are hating on the man?

WC SHOULD have busted up in there. With WC on his arm, Big Moe would have gotten in.

Also, he apparently doesn't know the rule that if at first you don't succeed, there's always sneaking in through the kitchen! HA HA HA, you laugh, but there is a whole troupe of crusty old party crashers W.C. done met in N-Why-C who think they are super fancy, but yet they will sneak under a fence in a second if there are some jumbo cocktail scrimps on the other side!

But WC digresses....

Chin up, Big Moe! Shaq just wanted to ensure he'd be the tallest dude at the party on his big day!

No Nekkids Allowed

W.C. went walking on Lincoln Rd., Miami Beach last night. You wouldn't have recognized me, because I didn't have my hair fixed.

On the door of one store, called "Design Within Reach" there was this sign:

No Nekkids Allowed!

Now W.C. agrees that going any public place all barefooted sounds pretty NASTY (BiBi Spears, are you listening?). So that part of the sign is fine.

But as to the rest of the sign: If W.C. weren't afraid of getting on the bad side of the Miami Beach P.D. and weren't so much of a PROPER LADY, Rollerblade-Streaking on Lincoln Road sounds right fun!

If anybody does this, you best be sure to send the pics to W.C. as soon as you get out of County!

W.C.'s Florida Happenings: Coleslaw Wrestling

Ooooh LAWD:

Did you know there is coleslaw wrestling in CenFla? W.C. didn't enter this contest this year, but these skurry ladies need to watch out for W.C. come NEXT YEAR! $500 goes to the winner, and ya'll KNOW W.C. would have won.

Thanks to news-monger D.W.C. for the hot tip.

Tall Car: Dayuuum!

WC was ridin' around on I-95 this past weekend, and lookie here at what she saw! In case you cain't read the yellow sign on the back, it says "How High Are You?" and WC suspects somebody was seriously in an altered state when they decided this was a good idea. As a side note, WC wanna meet the driver. He was lookin' sorta like a Puerto-Rican Justin Timberlake. Wooooooo!